So the last time I wrote anything was almost 8 months ago, wow... well let's say that the person who wrote that article wasn't ready for the challenge that faced him.
My life has completely changed in the last 8 months both for better and for worse.
Weight wise, Christmas was awful, I actually put on about 20 more lbs by the time 2017 had rolled around and I hated myself even more, I'm not sure that was even possible. I think that's the time I really started committing (note how I said started). I slowly have gotten back into the habits of being careful about what I put in my body and although I'm not perfect once I started feeling better and looking a bit better the transition got a lot easier. In fact, my next entry is going to be about that first time you look at yourself in the mirror and notice a difference. I find it like a drug it is an amazing feeling and it helps me to keep going through the hard days.
Speaking of hard day's there have been a lot since I wrote my first post and im going to blame my lack of motivation to write on that.
February 2nd was one of the worst days of my life. My mom and her drinking problem hit rock bottom, it was hell. There is no adequate way to describe that day, but it was also the most important day in her life because she finally shook herself hard enough to realize this was a real problem, she spent some time in the hospital and got through withdrawal. Quit cold turkey actually, Then the first setback came. two months later me and my girlfriend Erin were away visiting my aunt in Boston. I called my mom one night to talk to her and I heard that unmistakable tone in her voice that I had heard for so many years, she had been drinking. I was angry and upset. I felt like she waited until I was gone away to drink again. When I came back from holidays I confronted her and it was ugly, she told me that nobody was going to tell her how to live her life blah blah blah.
Thankfully shortly after that, she quit again. In mid may she was hospitalized for stomach ulcers, no big deal they removed them without incident. Once she got home the issues started going the other way she became sleepy, bloated, sore and without appetite, this combined with her Irish stubbornness and general loathing of hospitals was a recipe for disaster, June 23rd I got a call from my dad, mom had gone to the washroom and fell over. He couldn't get her up and needed my help, well I couldn't get her up either, cue the paramedics and about 1 week later she had deteriorated dramatically. By this point, we had been told what I had already assumed. Cirrhosis, Liver failure and all the awful side effects that come with it. That Wednesday night as I sat in her room talking to what was left of my mom I told her I loved her and I told her goodbye. I left the hospital that night at cried all the way home I honestly believed that was the last time I would see her. Thank god I was wrong, the aforementioned Irish stubbornness carried her through that night and the next few weeks. Here we are today on July 27th and while she is not out of the woods she has bounced back and we are slowly working towards maybe getting her home.
To live more than a year she will need a transplant and now it's all about making her healthy enough to get that transplant.
Wow, that felt good to vent about. I don't realize how much I miss writing until I start to do it again.
So through all that and the last 8 months, i have also managed to drop about 40lbs. I never weighed myself after Christmas but I was around 260 and I'm now around 225 or so.
I think there have been a lot of factors, Eating habits have gotten better, exercising a bit more, stress, drinking water properly and a drive to get healthy after watching mom be so sick.
Oh yeah, forgot to mention I started a new job June 3rd LOL.
I have loads of work to do yet but I'm well on my way. I'll be getting myself a computer in the next week or so, I think and that will help me want to write more blog posts.
Until then, thanks for listening.
-JM
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